Dana thought she lived on Dune
She called her crystal meth "melange"
Fran was stuck in Middle Earth
Built hobbit holes in her garage

Wanda craved a Highlander
For her, there could be only one
Jane the Trekkie beamed me up
And kept her cleavage set to stun

Anna only loved the Doctor
Four and Nine and Five and Ten
Elizabeth was user-friendly
Plaything of the Midwest fen

Mary-Catherine wrapped me up
Like Katamari Damacy
Marcy needed better stats
Charisma: 20, Wisdom: 3

Colleen was from a comic book
Her spandex bursting at the seams
Belinda dressed up all in brass
Fulfilled my Princess Leia dreams

Connie turned me on to Sandman
Death had never looked so fine
Gretchen was a vampire slay'r
Showed me her stake, I showed her mine

Jessie hitchhiked down from space
I told her, "Thanks for all the fish"
Hannah cosplayed Princess Bride
All I could say was, "As you wish"

Cheryl donned a schoolgirl skirt
And begged me for my tentacle
Kim was like Excalibur
Forever swinging, never dull

Ellen told me she was Batgirl
Turned out she was only bats
Tanya was a wonder woman
Lassoed me in nothing flat

Lana let me in her Stargate
Sent me 'cross the galaxy
Victoria was an X-Files freak
The truth was out there; so was she

Elaine watched too much Battlestar
She had a thing for one-eyed men
Peggy slipped her fishnets on
We did the Time Warp once again

Cindy had the cell phone number
THX-1138
Gwen looked like Hermione
She always made me levitate

Andrea could LARP 'til dawn
She played her part with verve and glee
Pat had Firefly on the brain
In her, I found serenity

Sammi had a Warcraft habit
Left when I ran out of cash
Prue already had a boyfriend
Put my name behind the slash

Allie loved her Magic cards
Red mana was her favorite drug
Vera was a cyberpunk
The doctor helped her get debugged

Quinn read manga night and day
She had me turning Japanese
Joanna played a slave of Gor
She had the cuffs, I had the keys

Chris stood like a monolith
I met her in 2001
Tricia lived for Matrix flicks
We very nearly jumped the gun

Laura's dates were like Sin City
Always ended with a bang
Lucy dug Anita Blake
She wouldn't fuck without the fangs

Val collected Darkover
She got an MZB tattoo
Kate was horny for Lestat
We skipped right past the interview

Susie liked Vallejo art
She dressed in chain mail lingerie
Morgan was a furry girl
I shouted, "Fetch!" and ran away

Gail read Spider Robinson
Thought every bar was Callahan's
Marjorie wrote filk by day
At night, made me her biggest fan

Paula searched for Narnia
We did it on the closet floor
But Jenna's saner than the rest
That's why she's Fangirl 44